Virtuous or Real?

by Alfred, Elder

I recently read this quote from Brennan Manning’s book "Ruthless Trust," "The great weakness in the North American church at large, and certainly in my life, is our refusal to accept our brokenness. We hide it, evade it, gloss over it. We grab for the cosmetic kit and put on our virtuous face to make ourselves admirable to the public. Thus, we present to others a self that is spiritually together, superficially happy, and lacquered with a sense of self-depricating humor that passes for humility. The irony is that while I do not want anyone to know that I am judgmental, lazy, vulnerable, screwed up, and afraid, for fear of losing face, the face that I fear losing is the mask of the impostor, not my own."

I have to admit that I, too, do not want anyone to know that I am "judgmental, lazy, vulnerable, screwed up and afraid." I am guessing that my "virtuous face" has fooled at least some of the flock here at Chatham. Being a preacher’s kid who was born on a Sunday and in church the next Sunday, I have had a lot of practice in wearing my virtuous face. Yet the truth is I am simply a "sinner saved by grace." I am not sure if I will ever be able to leave the mask behind. However, God is at work in my life, and so there has been some improvement.

Last Sunday a church friend asked me how I was doing, and instead of saying, "Okay," or, "Great," like I normally would, I told him the truth; that I had learned of three sad circumstances from people very close to me the day before. His concern was immediate, however he had other obligations so I told him we would talk soon. I am confident that we will get together, and I will share with him what is really going on in my life.

That Sunday morning several others also asked me a similar question, and I’m sure I said, "Okay," or "Great," or etc. Being willing to really be real with people usually requires a relationship over time. My friend has built a relationship with me over the years, and I feel free to share my burdens with him. However, there are many other friends that I admit I do not feel free to burden.

I want to take this opportunity to mention that if you have not developed relationships with people in our church, please join a Life Community. I know from personal experience that it is easy to build strong relationships in smaller groups and almost impossible to do if you only attend on Sunday mornings.

The fact is that Jesus came on strong with people who put on the appearance of righteousness. He says in Matthew 22:27, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean."

A "virtuous face" that covers up being "judgmental, lazy, vulnerable, screwed up and afraid," and a host of other sins, is just plain fake. The truth is we’re all a piece of work; broken and hopeless apart from God’s grace. Perhaps others of us have displayed a false "virtuous face" as well.

I John 1:8-10 says, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us."

And James 5:16 reads, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other... The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

Scripture encourages us to carry each other’s burdens. Confession and repentance and being open and real with one another can enhance our testimony to God’s grace. Everyone down deep can relate with sin, but some have never seen openness about our struggles with it. As God has graciously forgiven us, we can forgive one another, and pray for one another, and hopefully go and sin no more.

I Thessalonians 5:11 states, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

In the coming New Year, I hope that we will all become more real with each other.

Scripture quoted from New International Version.